So I pride myself on being level-headed and grounded. I try to stay neutral in conflicts, and I stay very, very far away from any type of drama, and just dramatic people, in general. However, I was recently inspired while reading Spirit Junkie by Gabrielle Bernstein to count the number of times throughout a day I judge someone else, or myself. And holy moly, was it a lot!
Just because I’m not vocal about my criticisms and judgements doesn’t mean they don’t cross through my head, and unless you are some Super Human Goddess, I’m going to go ahead and guess that you are the same exact way.
For example, you see someone walking down the street on a Saturday morning, and she is wearing heels, a little black dress, and her hair is slightly messy…now you’re not going to yell out at her “WALK OF SHAME!!”, but you’re probably thinking it, right? Or maybe you’re not the “walk of shame” type of gal, more like the “stride of pride”, but whatever the case, you have made some kind of judgement about this girl.
Or here’s one that happened to me today: you show up to an event wearing an outfit that to you seems appropriate, but the second you walk into the room, you notice everyone else is dressed slightly nicer than you are. Now you probably won’t go home and change, but you may begin to feel a little bashful over your dress of choice, and if you’re anything like me, frantic thoughts will begin to run through your head as to what everyone else is thinking about YOU.
Now, these judgements aren’t always negative, they can be positive, too! Ever heard of the phrase, “put someone on a pedestal”? So in this case, you may see a group of girls that are all b-e-a-u-tiful and immediately, you feel inferior. You begin to think of all the things they have, and you don’t. You wonder why they seem so cool, why they’re all so happy, and why the air around them seems to have fairy dust, while the air around you is…just air.
I’ve given you three separate examples of the judgements that go through my head on a normal day, and like I said before, I’m going to guess that we are probably in the same boat. I’ve now started to consciously become aware of every time I make some sort of judgement, good, bad, or otherwise, and by doing this exercise, it has made me actively and consciously strive to put more good into this world.
Let me explain….
Whenever I start to make a judgement in my head, I stop myself, and I ask, why does this matter? For example, let’s say you come across someone who has really crooked teeth. Your first reaction may be to think in your head, “Wow, this person really needs braces,” or something to that effect. What I am suggesting you do is NOTICE when you are beginning to make a suggestion and ask yourself why does this MATTER?
In most scenarios, the judgement that you are making has ZERO to do with the who the person is that you are talking to, and more with how that person looks. By becoming aware of the judgements you are making and making the conscious effort to release the thought, you are stripping away the “outer” appearance and training yourself to focus on the “inner” persona. Make sense?
Trust me, this isn’t easy. But first and foremost, I challenge you to start becoming more aware of the number of judgements you make a day. Understand that this is normal, and it’s human nature to do this, but what will separate the normal from the extraordinary is when you can learn to release the judgements and see what’s on the inside. I’ve found that by doing this, I literally see the glowing light in people, rather than the imperfections, which, newsflash we all have. I wrote this article because it’s a beautiful thing to start seeing everyone for who they truly are, not what their outer appearance makes them out to be!
I wish you the best of luck as you begin this challenge of removing the judgements, don’t hesitate to update me on your journey!
Read More By Shelby:
A Guide To Creating Your Own Zen Den
The Secret To A Fulfilled Life
Make 2016 Your Best Year Yet
and check out her blog [here]