June 21 2016

On Grandparents, Parents and Life’s Greatest Mystery…How To Use An IPhone

Do you have family members who make taking a picture on their iPhone more difficult than a college-level calculus class:

Teenage girl lying on white couch and using smart phone, close up

As much as you love them, how many times have you wanted to scream, “What are you doing? Why can’t you figure this out? Is it really that hard?”   To our eternally confused iPhone users, we know that this beautiful piece of technology wasn’t around during your adolescent days, but times have changed and now it’s time to face the music about how your Generation Y children feel about your iPhone incompetence.
“How do I find my e-mails?”
“Where can I find the app store?”
“How do I take a picture or even a selfie?”
“Who is this woman who keeps saying ‘I didn’t quite get that’ to me every time I touch my phone?”

We can answer all of these questions and many more for you, we just need you to get to an understanding. Oh, by the way, her name is Siri.

Let’s get one thing straight, no matter what type of reward you offer to us, or how good of people we are, there is nothing that will hold back how impatient we get and how incompetent we may think you are when it comes to using your smartphone.

Don’t get us wrong, we love you dearly.  It’s just that the iPhone comes so naturally to us, it’s so hard for us to think of it any other way.

It’s kind of like you teaching us to ride a bike or drive a car. You love us and want us to succeed, but you already know how to do it, so sometimes you just get so frustrated, because it seems like such an easy task to tackle.

So when you ask us to help you, most of us are more than happy to. But you have to realize the difference between an Apple store genius bar technician and an 18-year-old who just wants to post selfies on Instagram–and don’t ask what that is because we won’t allow you to have one.

I don’t know about my fellow iPhone lovers, but I feel that there is a difference in asking for help and needing serious help. For example, if your iPhone student doesn’t know how to turn the phone on, then kindly show them, but if they can’t hear their voicemails because something is wrong with the microphone or some electrical part of the phone, politely drive them to the Apple store and drop them off for their Genius Bar appointment that, of course, you will so kindly make for them.

There comes a time when the iPhone class from your grandchild or child must come to an end before someone starts yelling and pulling their hair out. When you Generation X people ask us to basically take you step-by-step through the phone, when it has gone on for about two hours or more, it’s time to dismiss the students, AKA you.

So on behalf of a generation, to our dear parents and grandparents, the moral of the story is, ask for help with discretion, and take advantage of those in store classes that Apple offers!

Yours truly,

An adolescent who is stuck between a rock and a hard place

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