Pain demands to be felt. It may bombard its way through life today, tomorrow, or perhaps even wait until the sun has set a few years from now, but, eventually, it will come, and it will scream. Sometimes, the screams released are manageable to ignore, but other times — the times when pain’s screams are the loudest — occur when the pain stems from a source considered to be one of love.
Pain is difficult, but pain caused by a loved one feels impossible. There is no denying the suffocation it places upon a soul or the shackles it places around one’s heart, as pain is a feeling never foreseen in relationships of love. But the truth is that they occur, more often than anyone would like to believe. And, when they do, the healing process is significantly prolonged.
Forgiveness is a grueling, headache-inducing process that can take years to complete. It isn’t as simple as saying the words, “I forgive you,” to the one who dropped this curse at your door, as words hardly have any meaning compared to their adjacent actions. The forgiveness will only be achieved after your brain has finished its debate with your heart and your body finally comes to a relaxed consensus as to whether or not the relationship with the person in question is able to be mended.
The process is a war within yourself rather than a war with the person whom you love. The memories produce emotional floods, the act of pain inflicts hurtful scars, and the hopes for what could or could not be create internal trenches, making the waving of the white flag a longer journey than one would hope. Pain leaves a damaging wound on the relationship in question, and while that wound is deep and feels as though it may spread to all facets of life, it is crucial to remember that no matter how deep the infliction is, all wounds heal.
Healing doesn’t necessarily mean fixing a relationship, but it does mean that the war will end, the white flag will wave, and the continuation or termination of the relationship in question will finally be decided upon. Pain will finally be removed from your home and peace will be restored to your body, as you will know that even if you decided to end your relationship with a person, you also decided to end your relationship with suffering.
It will take time, and the process may be more hurtful than the original damage that was bestowed, but if the relationship is meant to be, it will be, and if it isn’t, then forgiveness will still make its way to light. “I forgive you,” will make its way to the person who yearns its presence eventually, but lest not forget that forgiving a situation does not mean forgetting the repercussions.
Forgiveness is not an act to be taken lightly. It is a process that creates an aggressive internal and external struggle, and when it is required in a situation, it requires a high level of respect. Forgive isn’t just a word, it is an emotion, a connection, and a way of mental survival.
Pain may demand to be felt, but love deserves to be experienced. When forgiveness is unlocked, pain is banished, and a sense of reconciliation — whatever that reconciliation may entail — occurs, love takes over and the words “I forgive you,” become a stepping stone onto a new path of light.