April 25 2016


***Disclaimer: This in no way represents the male population as a whole. In the spirit of satire, I proudly present…

caution rant in progress

To Mr. Chauvinistic:

What’s wrong with a girl making the first move? In theory, absolutely nothing. In practice, society paints her as eager and desperate. What patriarch decided that I am not allowed to text you first? What egotistical S.O.B wrote a “bro” book ruling that intimidation is a deal breaker? We were taught to “wait until he talks to you first.” He should be texting me, right? Why isn’t he? Maybe I should play hard to get. Or maybe I should just put out? It seems that the more interested a girl gets, the less interested he becomes. Guys love a chase, but not if he must put in a little more effort than he’s used to or that he wants to. And if the girl likes the chase — if she *god forbid * wants to be a tease because she can equally play whatever this game is that he thinks he invented, if she can play just as well as he can — he moves on. Why on earth would a double standard not exist, am I right? Whether it’s the fear of rejection or the lack of initiative and ambition, for some reason it is quietly frowned upon if a girl actively pursues a guy. In what world is me asking for your number aggressive? I recall a certain level of assertiveness projects confidence — an intriguing vibe that leaves you wondering what my deal is. You do the same to me. I am not inferior, and I am in no way your submissive woman. I am confident. I am not afraid of rejection. Your pick up lines are outdated. Stop asking me what sorority I am in, and do not pretend you honestly connect to the last video I shared on Facebook on a spiritual level, which, by the way, is usually something along the lines of a mac-and-cheese grilled cheese. I know how to get a conversation going, and I will uphold it if you struggle to find something to talk about with me. I don’t mind. I’m sure we have something in common, whether it’s a favorite sport, our major, or that we both know that this conversation is as painfully awkward as the fact that I heard you use the same lines on a different girl four minutes ago. What’s wrong? Are you confused that I didn’t give into your usual routine? Did I throw you off your mundane Saturday night game? And, by the way, no, I am not bitter. I’ve been rejected plenty, but I no longer wish to succumb to the idea that a boy must communicate with me first. I am allowed to ask you out for coffee. I have the right to invite you over if that is what I please. Don’t be afraid. I don’t bite. Times are changing; you’re no longer required to be in control. Take the passenger seat. This is not me emasculating you. This is me empowering myself. #HappyHonestyDay #500wordRant

via giphy.com

via giphy.com

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