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December 17 2015

What Do You Mean I Can’t Go Back, by Rachel Berglass


you-REALLY-wanted-jump-onto-blobFor the past eleven years,  I have truly lived 10 months for 2. Living 10 for 2 meant that I ate, slept and breathed sleep away camp 24/7.  Ever since my parents dropped me off at camp in 2005 until this upcoming summer, there was never a single doubt in my mind that I wanted to spend my summers in the scenic hills of New Hampshire. From being one of the youngest campers in camp to becoming a counselor,  I have had an extensive camp career. My camp friends have and always will be my best friends in the entire world. I cannot thank my parents enough for sending me to such a special place. However, all good things must eventually come to an end. It’s hard to imagine a life where camp is not a part of me forever.

rachel college

So here I am embarking on the new scary chapter in my life… college. For the past few years my parents have begged me not to go to camp, so that I can spend time at home with my family and home friends. Because I am now at a college almost 5 hours away from home, this year the push for me to spend my summer in New York is greater than ever before. I have not yet decided whether camp will be in the cards for me this summer, but I do know that this is one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make in my life.

rachel graduationMany parents want their children to start to get internships during their summers home from college. My parents fall into this category. Not a day goes by that my mother does not mention the “cool and exciting opportunities” I would receive through getting a professional internship. And yes, this does sound extremely appealing to me, but I am not totally sure I am ready and willing to put my camp experience behind me.  So why do I have to start making “real” life decisions when just a few months ago I was asking teachers for permission to use the bathroom in high school?

rachel camperI find myself spending hours making pros and cons lists, but I seem to get more and more confused and conflicted. It seems the only thing I’m sure about is that I am unsure what I am going to do. My home friends constantly beg me to stay home, and my camp friends are shocked when I bring up the possibility of not returning to camp. Camp is a huge part of my life, and I honestly believe without camp I would not be the person I am today. But, is it time to grow up and start a new chapter in my life?

rachel counselorI simply cannot give a solid answer to this question yet and I do not know that I will be able to for a while. What I have realized through my daily conflict is that growing up and maturing comes with having to make difficult decisions. I know that what ever I decide to do I will be missing out on something, and I will just have to accept that. Whichever way I decide to spend my summer, one side will be upset and disappointed. In this situation, I have to put my best foot forward and really think about what will benefit me the most.
Dean and DeLuca
It is important realize that you’re not going to be able to please everyone, always but what really matters is your own happiness.  What would you do?  Leave a comment below and let me know.  

To read more about figuring out your life, check out:

No, I DO NOT Know What I Want To Do With My Life, by Carly Kahan

The Confident Girl’s Guide to Being A Freshman, 6 Things I Wish I Knew, by Emma Bernstein

Where Is Your Happiness? by Jordan Cohen

Meet Rachel:

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3 thoughts on “What Do You Mean I Can’t Go Back, by Rachel Berglass

  1. As I’m now an “adult” and have worked a lot of different jobs, I would think about camp. As you’re just finishing a freshman year of college and will have the opportunity for internships, camp is where you let your hair down. Consider it your last year and enjoy it. That way next year, you can decide if buckling down and joining the “real” world is a good fit for you. A farewell to your youth spent enjoying yourself. I’ve found, having worked since I was about 14, that camp was some of my best times. I would return in a New York heartbeat.

    Have fun, have faith in yourself, and do what you want, not what others expect. It’s your life, part of that is getting to make the big decisions for you.

    Be well cuz.

  2. Go back, you will never get the time to go back when you get older so go while you can. Even if it is for one last summer.

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