Lately, I have had some issues making friends. I feel as if I cannot be myself around other people, as if I have to pretend to be someone else in order to get people to like me. Do you have any advice on how to find real friends that I will actually get along with?
First off, thank you for writing in. When it comes to making friends, I have learned that you should never try to become someone else in order to do so. Real friends will like you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be. If you are determined to change yourself for a friend you might not be as compatible with these people as you thought. It may cause arguments and a major strain on your relationship as you grow closer because you may not have as similar of personalities as you think.
In order to make friends, real friends, at least, I would suggest to just be yourself. Don’t try too hard to be someone that certain people will like as it is important that in order for people to like you, they have to actually know you. Put yourself out there; join clubs and groups in school to meet new people. The people you have met previously in your life may not be the right people for you to be friends with; you might not have found those lifelong friends yet. So, get your name out there and join interestest groups that you like, such as a club of your interest. Starting off that way will already give you something in common. Don’t give up, you will find people who truly love you for you, and these people will become your friends for life.
Please write again. Hope this helps!
Do you have any tips on how to balance your life? Between school and work, I feel like I have no time for fun anymore and I am constantly stressed! I feel like my life is falling apart! HELP!
Dear Falling Apart,
Thank you for writing in. I can totally relate to your issue. I,too, have a hard time balancing everything in my life. The best advice I can give to you is to never give up time for yourself. As much as school and work is so important, so is keeping yourself sane. Take a day or two out of the week, and keep them open for fun activities with friends and family or even for a day to yourself. If you ever find some free time go get
your nails done or buy yourself a cup of coffee.
Also, don’t forget to do things for yourself on your busiest days or you will become overwhelmed and fall apart. Regarding work and school, I would make sure the two don’t interfere with one another. Make sure when you are at school, you are focused and ready to learn. It will make taking tests and doing homework a lot easier. Allot a few hours a day to schoolwork so you are able to get your work done and make sure that, although it is important to work, that your time spent at work doesn’t interfere with your time spent studying. School should always come first.
It is extremely important to find a balance between school, work and fun. But, no matter what, make sure you meet the needs of all three. Never let the importance of your happiness fall behind. The most important thing is to make sure you keep your health in mind at all times. Make sure you eat right and get a good night of sleep. Doing this is hard to figure out at first, but once you do, I promise it will be smooth sailing from then on.
I hope this helps you. Please write again!
Ask Kelly reflects the advice and opinions of the author. Kelly’s advice is peer to peer advice based on actual questions received. The advice offered is not and is not represented to be expert advice. If you are seeking the advice of a professional, we recommend you contact your university’s counseling service or otherwise consult with a mental health professional of your choosing.