As if this situation doesn’t sound familiar to you — you just broke up with your high school sweetheart (cue tears) who you’d been with for x amount of years.
Since we are way past the stages of writing depressing lyrics in our AIM profiles (which you shouldn’t be doing anyway since you are better than that…), you resort to caloric sweets and Netflix. These sound great at the time, but will result in serious gains that are not in your favor as well as carpal tunnel at a disappointing age.
I am no Dr. Phil, but there are many more positive ways to get rid of those tears and become more confident with yourself during this difficult time. From my own personal experience, I will always be thankful for my friends, but again, I’m NOT a sappy, emotional mess who dives into calories like they’re tic tacs, but my advice can go for you all too.
Here is what I feel will make you a more confident version of yourself:
1. A new obsession… a healthy one — As if I wasn’t already obsessed with the gym, I became even more of a fanatic. With that, I tried out more classes than just the ones at SoulCycle, such as Equinox Kickboxing, and I can now say that I am becoming the next Ronda Rousey. It’s a great way to stay in shape and get out all of your anger/feelings. Whether your niche be sweating in a room doing stretches, aka hot yoga, or Pilates, or HIIT workouts, try something new that you enjoy, and let this become a constant routine in your week. You will slowly develop a healthier and calmer mindset. For me, the gym isn’t just to lose weight. I go to clear my mind and keep myself in a positive state as well as boost my confidence.
2. Get yourself out there – What I mean by this is that I’m sure you subconsciously didn’t go out because you had a boyfriend. I don’t need excuses, everyone does it… you start to try and care less and less… not wear makeup to class, show up to places in sweatpants, and so on. NO. You can no longer do this. Each moment should be treated as though the love of your life will walk through the door… and if you’re leaving SoulCycle, just run to your car extremely fast (kidding).
Your Glamour Makeover
I started to dress up wherever I went, began to wear makeup to class and went out with my friends even when I was tired. You don’t realize the amount of time you didn’t spend with your friends until you have gained back all of that time.
3. The dreaded words of “Swiping Right” – The 2016 version of Fiddler on the Roof’s Yente. I could probably write an entire book about my experiences (and yes, I truly believe it would be a best seller), but you need to re-introduce your rejuvenated and free self into the world. Downloading these apps isn’t “weird” at all. Everyone is doing it, and it’s essentially the modernized version of JDate and Match.com. If I can do it, anyone can. It will be difficult to go on your first date with someone who isn’t your ex: trust me, my first date was probably the most horrifying thing known to mankind, but I got back up and did it again.
And now I just laugh ridiculously hard about that first experience, and I am a huge advocate of Bumble. Because the girl has to start the conversation, I felt extremely empowered and in control. I could be myself and it was a fabulous feeling. Fast forward to now, I have met some great guys from these apps. Some sucked, some resulted in a second date and some I found them more difficult than a wall to speak with, but I gained the confidence back in myself… and the free drinks didn’t hurt either.
4. With these ingredients of the home remedy variety, the last and final part of this is reflecting. If you look back and regret how you’ve been living your college experience, you truly should use this time to find out who you are, what you like to do and what you stand for. For me, this past summer was that time and I can honestly say I found myself and my confidence in the process. I don’t regret my college experience thus far, but I definitely restricted myself subconsciously and started to care less. If this has happened or is happening to you, in the words of Barney Stinson:
X’s, O’s and L’chiam to Swiping Right,
Read More By Jess: